Manage Ur Temper

Anger Management: How to Keep Your Temper in Check
Everyone gets mad, but it's important to recognize when your anger has gotten out of control and it may be time to get professional help.

By Madeline Vann, MPH
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

It’s just a fact of life that sometimes you're going to get angry. But if your anger is excessive, you may require anger therapy to help keep your emotions in check. How do you know whether your anger is over the top and if anger management might be helpful to you?
“I would say that what is really important is for a person to really know themselves,” says Elena Moser, LCSW, a therapist in private practice and clinical director of the Women’s Therapy Center in El Cerrito, Calif. “If you have tended to get in trouble, interpersonally, by impulsively expressing anger, I would say hold off on expressing anger and give yourself time to cool off or talk it over. If you are the kind of person who has held back and rarely expresses anger, then you really need to think about why you are so hesitant and to practice expressing your angry feelings.

”Moser believes that expressing anger is necessary for your emotional health. But if you are having problems doing it tactfully, here are some tips to help you control your anger when it flares. Before reacting:

Think about your goal. Do you want to tell someone to stop a particular behavior that's making you angry, or are you trying to get them out of your life for good?

Consider any power differences. Expressing anger at your boss is different from doing so with a peer or an employee. You want to tailor your approach to the person you're talking to.

Strive for clear communication. “Blasting someone rarely gets you what you want,” says Moser. Instead, try and highlight your ideas about how you may be able to resolve the situation.

Practice. If you need a dry run with a neutral listener before talking to the person who's made you angry, ask a friend to help and go for it. Anger therapy can also be a good place to role play such a situation. Health and Anger ManagementFaced with conflicting news and advice about how healthy it is to express anger, many women don’t know whether to throw a plate at the wall, take a walk, or reach for a glass of wine. There are some very good reasons to learn how to manage your temper, including:

Anger management could prevent injury. Data from 2,517 people who were admitted to the hospital due to injury in 2006 showed that about one-third felt irritable before the injury occurred, and one out of five admitted that they felt either angry or hostile. Men were at greater risk of injury while angry than women, though it's something to be cautious about no matter your gender.

Anger management could help your heart. A recent study of 62 people with implanted defibrillators demonstrated that recalling anger-sparking events increased the chance that their heartbeats would become uneven (a condition known as arrhythmia) over the next three years. Other studies have shown that frequent and intense feelings of anger increase the risk of heart disease over the course of a decade.

Anger avoidance. Of interest to those who have a tendency to swallow their anger but then brood about the situation later: continuing to replay the events can actually lead to more anger and depression, according to a study of 52 married couples in Washington State. This is more likely to be a problem for women than men, however. Do You Need Anger Therapy?Getting angry when the situation calls for it is one thing; excessive anger is quite another. But how do you know if you need therapy for a problem with anger and aggression? Here are some signs that you may need help:

You have had trouble with the law because of impulsive actions.
You have unstable or broken relationships because of how you speak to people.
You lose jobs because of poor communication skills.
“If you think you have a problem, talk to someone you trust — a friend or family member," says Moser. Then consider talking to a therapist. "Therapy is a great place to come in and reflect on your personal situation,” she says.
Remember, expressing anger is important and healthy, but you have a choice about how you do it. If anger is a problem for you now, a little anger management therapy can help you gain control over your emotions so you can react more appropriately as an anger-inducing situation arises

Work Hard!

Do the Work! I love when I see people getting excited about doing the work that will help them reach their goals! Most people have no real concept of how strong they are or what their potential is. My workouts are tough because I know you're strong enough to do them! (And of course, because they have to be to work!) I set out to kick your butt, knowing that you'll only get stronger — and the stronger you get physically, the stronger you will become in every other way. Here's what one member has to say on my Message Boards about doing my program's hard work.

Hey, just wanted to check in with everybody before getting ready for work. I'm all sweaty after doing my awesome circuits and could use the cool down time here before hitting the shower. LOL

I know what you mean about the level 2 exercises... when I first saw those Russian Twist things my first thought was, 'No way!' Then I actually tried them and found that with much grunting and sweating, I could do them! It was the best feeling ever and I will be forever grateful to Jillian for making up a program that inspires me to reach heights I never thought I could reach.
Tomorrow is my rest day, but more importantly, it is my half day at work so I've got a massage scheduled for the afternoon — I can't wait! Gonna do an hour of hard-core cardio late tonight after I get home from work so I know I'm gonna earn that massage.
Hope everyone has a great day and I can't wait to see how well everyone has done on our weigh-in day! – SueDeNym

Taking A Break from Caregiving

Self-Care for the Depression Caregiver
To be a better caregiver for a loved one with depression, you need to devote some time to yourself.
By Linda Parent
Medically reviewed by Christine Wilmsen Craig, MD

Living with someone suffering from depression can be stressful, and the demands of caring for a person with depression can be overwhelming. For Lucy, a Montreal mother whose daughter suffered from depression at an early age, some moments were particularly difficult: "I used to sit in my bath and cry when I was too overwhelmed," she says. The best way to meet these challenges, and be able to give the best care possible, is to take care of yourself and do everything you can to stay healthy and strong.

Understanding Depression Makes Caregiving Easier Understanding these facts about depression may help both you and the person you care for.
Someone with depression may sometimes appear hostile, irritable, or like they are rejecting you. Don't take it personally; try to understand that it's part of the illness.
Depression involves biological, psychological, and interpersonal components and is not a sign of weakness or personal failure.
Try to adopt a tone that makes the depressed person feel in control. For example, ask if they are interested in an activity instead of suggesting the activity.
Encourage the person to respect scheduled appointments with professionals; do not accept responsibility or blame for missed appointments.

The state of the person living with depression should improve within a few months once treatment begins. Remember that depression treatment is normally effective; stay optimistic.
Encourage the person you are taking care of to participate in activities or outings, but don't insist.

Notice and praise them when they improve at certain tasks.
You can only do so much; be realistic about your capabilities.
Trust your judgment; choose the tasks you can confidently do, and do not feel guilty about the ones you can't or won't.
Care for the Caregiver Here are ways to give yourself a little TLC and stay physically and emotionally fit:
Remain active outside of your caregiving role; make time for activities you enjoy.
Accept support from family and friends.
Maintain a list of respite providers; learn about other services or support groups that may be able to assist you.
Share your feelings and accept that you can feel angry, sad, or frustrated; don't be hard on yourself for being human.
Make sure you have plenty of rest; find time to relax — force yourself if you have to.
Eat well so that you have sufficient energy and are able to remain alert.
Learn how to reduce stress through activities like meditation, yoga or tai chi.
Think positive and make the most of good moments.

Get Outside Help If You Need It If you are caring for someone in your own family, support groups or family therapy may help you or other family members deal with the situation. Says Basheer Lotfi-Fard, MD, child and adolescent psychiatry fellow at the McGaw Medical Center of Northwestern University and Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago, "Every community is going to be different, but the National Alliance on Mental Illness has local chapters throughout the country and a lot of free classes, as well as very good information on their Web pages about different conditions and treatment for mental health."

How to Recognize Depression in Yourself Eventually, as a caregiver, you may suffer from such stress or negativity that you may feel extreme sadness and be emotionally overwhelmed. If these feelings last for more than a few days, consult your doctor. Be alert to the symptoms of depression, which include changes in appetite or sleep patterns, tiredness or lack of energy, loss of interest in friends or activities you normally enjoy, and feeling unusually angry or irritable. Remember that support is important and that taking care of yourself through exercise, healthy eating, and plenty of rest should help you while you are living with and caring for someone suffering from depression.